I Could be Your Angel
by Allons-y Rosie
Summary: title subject to change. My version of a Nolan verse Harley. Harley remembers waking up in Arkham but doesn't know how she got there in the first place. When she finds out will she go back to the Joker or attempt to live a normal life? Read and find out!
1. Angel and Devil: both five letter words

A/N: Hello, my Lovely Readers

**A/N: Hello, my Lovely Readers! Since I'm being Harley for Halloween I've decided that in order to really get into her head I needed to write a fanfiction about her. Just to let you know this isn't the normal Animated series Harley this is my version of a Nolan-verse Harley, if that makes any sense so please review and let me know what you think because I may or may not keep this going. **

_I opened my eyes with a shocked gasp. I was back in our room. I looked around trying to get my bearings but it really _was_ my old room. _Our _old room. As I sat up I realized that I was sitting on the bed. I twisted around wildly as all of the old memories, the good and the bad, came rushing back to me; the memories that my time at Arkham had taught me to suppress. I took a shaky breath, trying to settle myself and closed my eyes, reveling in the smell of the room. _His smell. _The smell of greasepaint, blood, nighttime, fire, and gunpowder were all around me making my head spin with the memory of him. _

_The door barely made a sound as he walked in. A tiny sob escaped my throat as all the details of my Angel's face came into view and I covered my mouth knowing what was coming next. _

"_Harley," he called sweetly, taunting me. I knew I had done something wrong but I didn't know what, I _never_ knew with him. _

"_Y-yes, Puddin'?" He pulled out his knife as he started to walk slowly towards me with the sadistic smile that I loved on his face. He climbed on the bed and started to come towards me in a predatory crawl. _

_I hated myself for feeling it but I was extremely turned on and couldn't help my gasp of surprise when he straddled me. The weight of him was so familiar and, somehow comforting. What can I say? I was in love with the guy and, although it's very possible, it's extremely difficult to switch love off. A saccharine smile spread across his lips as he leaned his head in to kiss me. The smell of his breath was intoxicating and I had to keep my eyes from rolling into the back of my head from the pure joy I felt at that exact moment…_

_Until I felt cold steel invade my abdomen. I had completely forgotten about the knife he held. I let out a cry of pain through his kiss but he only grabbed my cheeks and held my face in place as he repeatedly stabbed me…_

"Harley, wake up! You have an appointment with Dr. Leland," the guard yelled as he stood in my room with his arms crossed. I rankled at his rough tone and stood up, putting my hands on my hips.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking before entering a lady's _boudoir_?" I said the word with relish and laughed at how ridiculous it sounded with my slight Bronx accent. The guard, however, looked a little uneasy. I smiled up at him. Being pretty tall it was unusual for me to look up at anybody so he _was_ pretty tall. I gave the guard a once over. He was new and young and might've been cute if you couldn't tell how dull he was just by looking at him. Perfect material for a hench- clown…

I cringed slightly. The thought of clowns in general was almost too painful. The guard gave me a look and rolled his eyes. I could _almost_ hear him thinking the word "crazy bitch" in his head. Well anyway down to business as usual.

I tapped my foot impatiently as he cuffed me, not even _trying_ to be gentle, and walked me down to Dr. Leland's office.

As we walked down the long corridor, I decided to ponder about myself. I was working really hard to build up my self-esteem, or at least pretend to that way I could get out of this hell hole as quickly as possible and get back to my Puddin'. I smiled at that thought with a little fear. I would go back but I would definitely be punished for getting caught. I automatically looked at my left arm. Even though it was covered by the boring white fabric I still knew that about a dozen scars were hiding under it. Several of them were in the shape of diamonds. He had decided that I needed to be marked so people would always know that I was _his_. I didn't really mind them that much it was just bothersome that I couldn't wear sleeveless shirts without people staring although it was great for scaring the shit outta people.

I smiled at that thought and couldn't help an escaped giggle, realizing I was freaking the new guard out.

As we passed a mirror I caught a flash of myself in it. I thought about the girl I saw because that's what she really was, just a girl. A pretty, innocent, doll faced girl who could kill you and wouldn't think twice about it, pretty much summed it up.

Mistah J loved using me for going under cover because no one would ever expect "a girl with the voice of a four year old." I hated my voice. It was too sweet! Even though it _did _sound cool when I dropped into the demonic octave I used when I was working.

I blew away a stray hair and suddenly wished that my hands were free so I could redo my pig tails. My hair had been looking pretty mousy and dull since I got here. Usually it was shiny and bright but the shampoo they gave us here was the crappy generic kind that smelled like too much soap. I sighed as we stopped in front of Dr. Leland's door and the guard knocked. A faint "come in" was heard from inside and we walked in.

The good doctor looked up as we came in and smiled warmly at me.

"Hello, Harleen," she said as the guard took my hand cuffs off and left. I gave her an overly fake smile back and settled in for an hour of "_therapy_".

It was going to be a _long _day.

_Note to Self: _

Love and Hate are both four letter words. Go figure!

**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Tell me and I'll update!** **By the way, I do so love fanart so feel free to make some and send me links!**


	2. Enter the Doctor

**A/N: So, I really love my one review… That's all I'm gonna say…**

"Hello Harley, I'm Joan Leland. I'll be your doctor while you're here at Arkham. Do you have any questions?"

I gave the good doctor a once over as all of this was said. She was a little on the short side with bobbed brown hair and caramel colored skin. She had on a doctor's white coat, thick glasses, a black pencil skirt, and a purple top…

_Purple…_

That struck a chord somewhere deep within me. I didn't know why, but I felt as if the color purple was significant in someway. I shook my head as if to clear away the thought and looked up. Since Dr. Leland was staring at me with and expectant but slightly wary look, I figured it was my turn to speak.

"Nice to meet ya, Doc. I was wondering if you could tell me why I'm here. I've been asking the guards and they won't tell me anything so if you could just let me know I'll be on my way…" I started to stand up but the dumb ass guard shoved my shoulders so I plopped right back down in my seat again.

Dr. Leland smiled gently at me and nodded at the guard to leave. I was starting to get pissed off because no one was telling me what was going on.

"Doc?" I asked tentatively. Dr. Leland sighed and eyed me cautiously before she spoke.

"Harley, do you remember anything before waking up at Arkham last week?"

I thought for a minute before I spoke slowly, not wanting to leave anything out.

"I remember…a party. Yeah, I remember going to a party. There was gun fire and shouting…I remember running and shouting to someone, then being thrown into the air and falling." I paused as I searched for words.

"There was a lot of pain…" I couldn't talk anymore. The memory of the pain was too great. It wasn't as much a physical pain as much as it was a heart wrenching pain; a sense of being left and not knowing why. I furrowed my brow, trying to remember but coming up with nothing.

Dr. Leland was writing furiously on a clip board when I looked up; waiting for her to finish as I looked at her purple shirt.

_Purple…_It still rang a bell.

"C'mon Harley girl, think," I murmured to myself. Dr. Leland finally stopped writing and look at me with concern.

"Did you say something, Harley?"

"No, sorry." Dr. Leland smiled and stretched, arching her back.

"Harley," she said as she reached into her desk and pulled out some papers. "We're going to do some ink blots. I'll show you one and you can tell me what you see, okay?"

"Sure, I guess." Like I had a choice anyway.

She held up the first one and I wrinkled my nose in concentration.

"It sort of looks like a smile," I said in a small voice.

"Okay, try this one."

"A- a vest"

"This one"

"A…knife," that one scared me. It was the uncanny image of someone smiling and holding a knife. It seemed oddly familiar…

I noticed that Dr. Leland had gone white and was starting at me as I squinted and leaned toward the paper she was holding up. Her hand started to shake and I sat back when I noticed; I didn't want to scare her but the ink blots had resonated deeply within me.

"Harley, do you _still_ remember nothing?" she asked warily as I looked at her with a blank expression on my face.

I blinked and shook my head. "I feel like I should know something I don't. Doc, what happened to me? Why the hell am I here?"

Dr. Leland sighed, put the inkblot down and folded her hands as she leaned in towards me.

"Harley, you're very…," she struggled for a word. "Sick"

I flinched inwardly at the word. "I'm sick?"

"Harley, I'm not sure I should tell you this but it's only fair that you know. You're suffering from amnesia. You…hit your head and we're keeping you here for observation. Once we make sure you're stable you'll be released."

I blinked a few times as the weight of the news hit me hard. I felt my head and winced when I touched a tender spot. The only thing other than that were the bad dreams but everyone had bad dreams. I couldn't remember what they were about when I woke up anyway, so what did it matter?

"Harley," I could see her internal struggle as she tried to find words to say. "Does the name…Joker ring any bells by any chance?"

I looked up at her and stared at her deep brown eyes intently. The name meant nothing, _I didn't know it._

"Who?"

**A/N: Yes, I'm continuing this. I'm still developing the story and I know it's inconsistent with the fist chapter but this is the direction I'm deciding to take it. Please review because they make me write faster (HINT!!!) **


	3. My boyfriend's back

**A/N: Well at least I got a little more reviews so for that I am thankful. So that's all I really have to say just keep reviewing. **

"C'mon, Joan," I yelled as I dragged my friend by her hand through the busy Gotham sidewalk.

"Harley, Harley sweetie…you got to (gasp) slow down…I, unlike (gasp) you can't run (gasp) in high heels," Joan panted, exasperated as I sighed but didn't slow my pace.

"Joan, they close in fifteen minutes and I wanna get there before they run out." My voice dropped into that demonic octave it sometimes did when I was really serious about something. I looked behind me to see Joan's eyes downcast as if she was thinking really hard about something.

I stopped suddenly – startling Joan, and gave a little squeal of delight as I looked in the front window of the pet store that was currently dull of Pit bull puppies. Joan rolled her eyes and looked at her watch impatiently.

"Hurry up Harl, they close in fifteen minutes."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Although I didn't get a huge salary as a sales clerk at Hot Topic, it was a pretty cool job because I got great discounts and it was enough to buy some toys, a leash, and a food and water dish for my new baby.

He was kind of small and really white with a brown muzzle but the lady at the store had said that his big paws indicated that he would be _huge_ one day. I smiled at the thought of my baby being the biggest kid on the playground – metaphorically of course.

I had already decided to name him Gabe; after Gabriel the Arch Angel. Living in a small apartment in the Narrows, a girl had to have someone to look after her – not that the nine MM in my purse didn't help. I smiled at the thought and looked at Gabe affectionately.

A cold wind blew suddenly and I pulled my coat around me as Gabe gave me an impatient "hurry up let's go home now" look.

"Alright Baby, we'll get warm soon, I promise," I said more to myself than to Gabriel. Not that I could afford much heat anyway.

"Aw heck," I thought as Gabe sniffed the opening of an alleyway.

"Maybe we'll splurge tonight."

_**Clang!**_

I turned my head as a sound came from the alley. Gabe gave a tiny growl ad his hackles raised as we walked further into the alley.

"Hello?" I called cautiously. Gabe gave a bark that echoed throughout the alley and I felt the chillingly familiar feel of someone – someone I thought I might know – behind me.

I turned around; stealthily reaching into my purse for my gun, only to find I was pointing a gun at no one.

I sighed and put the gun back in my purse. I leaned against the chain link fence and closed my eyes.

_He grabbed the back of my neck and put his knife to it._

"_Harley doll," he called taunting and soft. I knew it was only a game he liked to play but he was still dangerous when he was in a good mood._

_In other words, these moods were only the eye of the storm._

"_Puddin'," I called back, mocking his tone. He chuckled when he heard the waver of fear in my voice and turned me around to face him._

_I thought the smell of his breath alone would soon make me go dizzy with desire and need so I was surprised when he pulled my pigtails towards him and kissed me. _

_It wasn't a tender kiss, or an innocent kiss, it was a kiss full of need. I was simply one of his outlets for all of the frustration he had inside of himself. _

_But it was still a kiss and I would take whatever I could get. _

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

The vision went as fast as it came and I remember almost nothing about it. I looked down to see Gabe whimpering and shivering so I picked him up and put him in my jacket_. _After all, he _was_ just a baby. I gave a nervous look around the alley and started to walk home quickly.

I got back to my apartment and set Gabe down on the floor. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and licked his nose. I rolled my eyes, smiling.

"Very attractive, Pudd-," I had started to say Puddin' but the name didn't sound right with Gabe. I didn't even know where the name came from anyway.

Ever since I had woken up at Arkham, I kept having weird visions and dreams. Joan wouldn't tell me anything about them. She said I didn't miss anything big and that I didn't have anything to worry about. I didn't know why but for some reason I doubter her.

I shook my head. It really sucked the big one to be missing a whole part of your life and not get any answers to your questions.

I sighed and took Gabe's leash off as I struggled to keep my face away from his puppy kisses.

I set some water out for Gabe and went into the bedroom to put my pajamas on. I heard Gabe's claws clacking on the un-carpeted floor and looked back just in time to see him jump on my bed.

"Gabey Pie," I said in a stern voice. I hated when dogs jumped on the bed and acted like they owned the place but when he hit me with his brown eyes, I was powerless. There was always something about brown eyes that made me go weak.

"Fine, but just for tonight," I said as I climbed into bed and grabbed a hair tie for my pigtails and put the new on.

"We apologize for the pause in your regular programming but we have just been informed of the recent murders of three local girls," the usually polished new anchor look pale and seemed slightly uneasy. I paused in rubbing Gabe's belly, much to his displeasure, and started to pay more attention to the small TV.

"The girls are believed to have been killed by the infamous villain, The Joker." I crawled forward on the bed and kneeled in front of the screen. The news woman continued in a reluctant manner.

"I'm afraid we have a video of the murders. Please, make sure there are no children present in the next few moments as the video plays." The poor new woman looked as if she was about to cry…or throw up.

I could tell the video's beginning had been cut out and it only showed the tail end of it – _him_ talking.

The girl's laid out dead on the concrete floor beneath him, their mouths cut into horrid smiles, diamonds cut into their bare skin, their hair in pigtails…

All blonde and blue eyed.

All about my age.

The he started to speak and my whole world, everything I'd strived to build over these past these six months, collapsed in on itself.

"I'm ah addressing Harleen Quinzel," he was looking straight at the camera and looked up with his mouth slightly open.

I gaped up at the screen at the mention of my name and felt my insides curl at the familiar cadence of his speech.

"Gordon," he stopped and licked his scars.

"I know that you know where she is." I had no idea who Gordon was, of course but I listened intently anyway.

"And I want her back. By Midnigh-t," he popped the "t" on midnight and I almost started sobbing with relief. I finally knew what I was missing; _who_ I was missing all along.

"Or else these ah murders, they'll keep happening and how Batsy Boy _hates_ the killing of (his voice took on the tone of a womanish sob) _innocent lives."_ He gestured to the girls.

"The docks, Gordon, twelve o'clock." He went to turn the camera off but stopped.

"I miss my Harley Doll," he said before throwing himself into a laughing fit and turning the camera off.

Brown eyes were the last thing I saw. Then I passed out.


	4. Home is where the heart is

**A/N: So I know it might not seem like it to you guys but I have been on such a writing kick! I have up to chapter seven or eight finished. So Happy Holidays and here you go!**

_"Last night I was on the threshold of hell._

_ To-day, I am within the sight of my heaven._

_I have my eyes on it: hardly three feet to sever me!_

_-Emily Bronte, __Wuthering Heights_

I woke up to the sound of Gabe barking and snarling at the door. I could hear men shouting on and banging but I couldn't move from my place on the floor.

I lay there, with my mouth open, staring blankly at the ceiling, wondering if what had just happened was real or just a twisted dream I had made up by myself.

I broke out into a cold sweat as I realized that Gabe was still barking and the Gotham Police Force was currently trying to knock down my door. What in the name of hell was I supposed to do?

I quickly ran through my options, which, at the moment, didn't look all too great.

I _could_ play the helpless amnesia patient, open the door, pretend I had been sleeping, and just go on with my life.

_Right._

Then I had a thought. I put my tongue between my teeth as I pondered the possible repercussions of what I was about to do. That's when I realized I just didn't care anymore.

I quickly pulled a pair of skinny jeans on and slipped my black high-top converse on. I didn't know if I'd be running or not. I sighed at my torso; the black and red polka dot pajama shirt would just have to do for now.

I went under my bed and grabbed the black back pack I usually kept under there. I reached under my mattress and took out my emergency money, just in case. I got Gabe's leash and put it on him as he wagged his tail happily.

One last check in the backpack to make sure I had enough clothes and money.

"Gotham Police, open up!"

I went to the door and got ready to put on an Oscar winning performance.

"What," I said loud enough so the cops stopped yelling.

"Who the hell are you? I – I," cue the blood curdling scream. The cops started yelling again as I pulled open the bay window, grabbed Gabe, and flew down the fire escape as fast as my feet would carry me. I figured they would take a while searching the apartment so I had _just_ enough time to find some way to the docks.

I set Gabe down so he could walk and went through the back alley to the next street over.

I hailed a taxi and somehow persuaded him to take Gabe in the car by promising he wouldn't pee on the seats (which he didn't, of course).

Since the docks were far away I was able to close my eyes and slow down to think for a minute. I pictured the brown eyes I had seen on my TV screen and tried to remember all of our moments together.

_I was backed against the bedroom wall, panting, and not in the good way. His knife was in my abdomen and his hand was on my throat. I had said something about just shooting Batman and forgetting the theatrics. I figured that if he was such an egomaniac we could settle down and adopt some kids or something. Maybe…_

_Apparently, he didn't like the idea of me giving him ideas. I wasn't the schemer. I was his…_

_Come to think of it, I wasn't sure _what_ I was to him. I was sure he loved me. Just because he threw me around a lot didn't mean he didn't love me. I mean, the guy's crazy after all; he can't help it._

_Besides, when you loved something, or someone, enough they had no choice but to love you back._

"Lady, we're at the docks."

I shook myself out of my reverie and paid the driver. I grabbed Gabe and started to walk towards the docks.

I hadn't forgotten my gun, fortunately, so I pulled it out and put it in the waistband of my jeans, just in case things got out of hand.

I did a once over of the dock entrance, scaring myself at how I immediately took in all of the exits and possible hiding places. I walked past all of the boardwalks towards the old warehouse in front of the abandoned amusement park. There was a piece of plywood nailed to a post with two black circles and a red smile painted on it. I smiled and gave Gabe a small pat on the head.

I noticed a figure come walking out of the warehouse and my breath caught as I realized who it was. He walked slowly, with his arms swinging lazily at his sides as he whistled tunelessly. I stood frozen in place as I came to terms with what I was doing. Everything in my body was screaming at me to run. I knew who he was. I knew what he was capable of. It was really pathetic but I loved him them. I couldn't have helped it if I tried. He was so incredibly flawed but he was my perfect match. There was absolutely no way around it anymore; I would always and forever belong to him whether he wanted me or not. Nothing could _ever_ take me away from him.

He stopped about two feet in front of me and folded his arms. There was a tense moment where I could tell he was debating with himself whether to kill me or not. I took a deep breath in and let Gabe's leash slip form my hands. We stood there for a while until something crucial snapped in my right before a strange sad noise ripped from my throat and I ran at him and embraced him fiercely. I took in his smell, the feel of his velvet jacket beneath my fingers; I felt his wiry strength under me. I could tell I had taken him by surprise because he didn't hug me back right away but I pulled myself closer to him when I felt his arms wrap around me. I laughed contentedly and smiled because it felt good to.

He lifted up my chin and kissed me and I threw myself into it.

I was finally home. I didn't care that home to me was a broken down amusement park and a crazy man who dressed up like a clown. I didn't care that the cops were coming and I could hear sirens.

I. Didn't. Care

Harleen Quinzel was dead now but Harley Quinn..

_She _was very much alive.

**A/N: This has been my favorite chapter so far but the fifth one is pretty damn good too. Reviews are my life blood!!!**


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